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Gallimaufry suurimmasta sisällöstä koko kosmoksessa.
"Haluatko tietää, kuka minä olen? Heh, se on söpöä. Haluan tietää, kuka minäkin olen. Itse asiassa haluan tietää, keitä me kaikki olemme. Kuka maailmassa tietää totuuden siitä, miksi me kaikki olemme täällä? Mutta se ei ole tässä eikä siellä.
Todellinen kysymys on, oletko valmis kohtaamaan vaaran? Miljoonan auringon vihan? Oman lajisi lopun? Oletko valmis kestämään tämän helvetin? Kohtaamaan väistämättömän tuhosi tuskan? Koska se on se, mitä tulet kokemaan täällä. Meidät kaikki on laitettu tälle planeetalle, pakotettu paskomaan, syntynyt pyyhkimään, ja sitten kuolemaan. Jotkut lähtevät ennen toisia; mutta tällä sivustolla voit tehdä sen juuri nyt.
Olen tohtori Snap, velho. Olen täällä antamassa sinulle suurimman lahjan kaikista: Kivun."
Tohtori Snap työskentelee aina “kovasti” tuodakseen sinulle parasta parhaimmista. Tule pian takaisin nähdäksesi, mitä muita herkkuja olemme keittäneet kattilassa!
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Position: Translator (formerly), writer
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Nationality: Snapian
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Languages: English
Hair Color: Worrying Red -
Eye Color: Eyes like that of a bird
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Height: 6’5
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Wingspan: 7’6
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Build: Pompous
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Features: Fancy suit
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Ethnicity: Wizbird
About Alc, The Cracker
Alc, The Cracker is a former translator and writer for SNAP. He specializes in the more ancient translations. Much of his assistance can be found in SNAP’s L4D2 Bible: The Ultimate Left 4 Dead 2 Guide.
Like Master Gino, Alc was part of the original Snap alliance, though his work did not appear publicly until the publication of the L4D2 ultimate guide.
Background
Alc was part of the founding trio for the Snapian Network. After drinking Cornelius' intelligence enhancing urinal serum, he escaped with Snap and Gino to form a business together.
Alc, like Gino, was responsible for creating new serums and strategizing ways to outplay Cornelius’ business. He was as respected as Gino until, at some point, he made a comment on Dr. Snap’s voice being “like that of an aqueduct filled with hookers on drugs". Snap punished Alc with a beating and his hearing impaired. Alc recounts his current hearing as “everything being like what [he] described of Snap’s voice”.
Once responsible for putting Gino’s ideas to paper, Alc stepped down from translations due to his impairments. He still remains a writer for Snapian Network.
Personality
Alc is described as being “uppity”. He has little interest in learning anything new or expanding the world beyond what the Snapian Network provides him with. He often complains about being cooped up inside with ‘the other geeks’ but does nothing to fix it.
He has an unhealthy contempt for the modern world, and finds joy only in modern people suffering. His favorite pastime is taking pictures of modern suffering and send them to those who do not have any photos of modern people suffering. He likes to watch television (but only those 24/7 fire pit channels) while downing more soda than is probably healthy.
Quotes
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(In regards to modern games) “It seems we’ve entered the age where zoomers would rather look at a candy in all its allure than to actually savor it.”
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“What Gino does not understand about our cause, is that we’re here to make a mess, not a message.”
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“Cornelius, with all his wisdom, though I would say apparently he lacks thereof, proclaims himself to be an Ultrawizard. He asserts this claim, when he himself doesn't even possess a license that would prove such a thing! All he’ll ever achieve, IF his plans don’t include the death of every human being, is to turn the realities into his own personal playgrounds. His elimination is, by all means, desirable.”