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Gallimaufry suurimmasta sisällöstä koko kosmoksessa.
"Haluatko tietää, kuka minä olen? Heh, se on söpöä. Haluan tietää, kuka minäkin olen. Itse asiassa haluan tietää, keitä me kaikki olemme. Kuka maailmassa tietää totuuden siitä, miksi me kaikki olemme täällä? Mutta se ei ole tässä eikä siellä.
Todellinen kysymys on, oletko valmis kohtaamaan vaaran? Miljoonan auringon vihan? Oman lajisi lopun? Oletko valmis kestämään tämän helvetin? Kohtaamaan väistämättömän tuhosi tuskan? Koska se on se, mitä tulet kokemaan täällä. Meidät kaikki on laitettu tälle planeetalle, pakotettu paskomaan, syntynyt pyyhkimään, ja sitten kuolemaan. Jotkut lähtevät ennen toisia; mutta tällä sivustolla voit tehdä sen juuri nyt.
Olen tohtori Snap, velho. Olen täällä antamassa sinulle suurimman lahjan kaikista: Kivun."
Tohtori Snap työskentelee aina “kovasti” tuodakseen sinulle parasta parhaimmista. Tule pian takaisin nähdäksesi, mitä muita herkkuja olemme keittäneet kattilassa!
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Position: None
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Nationality: North Pole
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Languages: Christmas
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Hair Color: Yes
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Eye Color: Brighter than Medlock's future
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Height: North Pole
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Build: Not cut out for snow
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Features: The elves have pointy ears trope
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Ethnicity: Northern-Polian
About Northern-Polian Elves
The Northern-Polian Elves are servants of Ultrawizard Santa. They became temporary slaves to Ultrawizard Cornelius after Santa abandoned them at a rice field. After Cornelius’ death, the elves freed themselves. Their current whereabouts are unknown. Ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe they are now mythological rarities.
History
Ancient Snaptronaut theorists trace the existence of the Northern-Polian Elves all the way back to the remains of a small village on a peninsula. Behind this peninsula was a vast snowy jungle of rice trees. It is believed the jungle was a constant source of misery for the elves due to the unending cold, as well as the wrong-losers that lurked in the snowy grass. They were soon discovered by Santa (a lesser wizard at the time), who offered them protection, as well as a new home - a mansion.
For his constant acts of goodwill, Santa was promoted to Ultrawizard status. He handed off his promotional blessing to the elves, granting them an ability to turn rice crops into gifts.
Santa had to sustain his Ultrawizard prestige, so he tasked himself with mass-producing gifts and donating them across the lands once per year. Out of gratitude, the elves created the impossibly large factory that would help Santa accomplish this goal.
After many centuries, the rice forest was eventually depleted. The elves searched elsewhere for rice to turn into gifts, eventually stumbling upon UltraWizard Cornelius’ recently purchased plot of rice fields. UltraWizard Cornelius believed the elves were part of a wrong-loser gang, and punished them. He unleashed an unholy wrath.
What remains of the Northern-Polian Elves remains a mystery. Some ancient Snaptronaut theorists argue they went extinct due to lack of survival skills.
