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En gallimaufry av det største innholdet i hele kosmos.
"Du vil vite hvem jeg er? Heh, det er søtt. Jeg vil også vite hvem jeg er. Faktisk vil jeg vite hvem vi alle er. Hvem i verden vet sannheten om hvorfor vi alle er her? Men det er verken her eller der.
Det virkelige spørsmålet er, er du forberedt på å møte faren? Vreden av en million soler? Slutten på din egen art? Er du klar til å tåle dette helvete? Å møte smerten av din uunngåelige undergang? Fordi det er det du kommer til å oppleve her. Vi er alle satt på denne planeten, tvunget til å drite, født til å tørke, og så dør du. Noen vil passere tidligere enn andre; men på dette nettstedet kan du gjøre det akkurat nå.
Jeg er Dr. Snap, trollmannen. Jeg er her for å levere deg den største gaven av alle: Smerten."
Dr. Snap jobber alltid “hardt” for å bringe deg det beste av det beste. Kom tilbake snart for å se hvilke andre godbiter vi har kokt opp i gryten!
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Position: Giftgiver (former?)
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Nationality: North-Polian
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Languages: English
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Hair Color: White as snow
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Eye Color: Whatever he ate for dinner last night
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Height: Horizontally robust
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Build: Ho Ho Ho
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Features: A large sack
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Ethnicity: Wizard
About Ultrawizard Santa
Ultrawizard Santa (known commonly as Santa Claus) was the leader of a gift-giving enterprise located in the North Pole.
Background
Personality
Little is known about Santa’s early history. However, ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe his constant acts of goodwill is what promoted him to Ultrawizard status. Because Santa had to sustain his Ultrawizard prestige, he tasked himself with mass-producing gifts and donating them across the lands once per year.
Prior to his ultrawizard status, Santa might’ve been an explorer. He found the distraught North-Polian elves on a destitute peninsula and relocated them to a safer domain. Out of gratitude, the elves created a large factory that would help him accomplish his goal of mass gift production and conveyance. Santa granted the elves an ability to turn rice crops into gifts.
Ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe Santa was benevolent, generous, and kind. However, in his later years, Santa grew more withdrawn, as insinuated according to drawings he’d make feauturing himself much more brawny as he fights peculiar unidentifiable creatures. It is argued he might’ve started developing schizophrenia.
One diary written by a Northern-Polian elf hints twice at Santa abusing WizNog (an illegal pseudo-medicinal substance based off Cornelius’ intelligence enhancing urinal serum), though both entries are omitted mid-sentence.
