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A gallimaufry of the greatest content in all of the cosmos.
"You want to know who I am? Heh, that's cute. I want to know who I am as well. As a matter of fact, I want to know who all of us are. Who in the world knows the truth of why we're all here? But that's neither here nor there.
The real question is, are you prepared to face the danger? The wrath of a million suns? The end of your own kind? Are you ready to endure this hell? To face the pain of your inevitable doom? Because that is what you are going to experience here. We're all put on this planet, forced to shit, born to wipe, and then you die. Some will pass on sooner than others; but on this site, you can do that right now.
I am Dr. Snap, the Wizard. I am here to deliver unto you the greatest gift of all: The pain."
Dr. Snap is always working "hard" to bring you the best of the best. Come back soon to see what other goodies we have cooked up in the cauldron!
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Position: Translator (formerly), writer
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Nationality: Snapian
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Languages: English
Hair Color: Worrying Red -
Eye Color: Eyes like that of a bird
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Height: 6’5
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Wingspan: 7’6
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Build: Pompous
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Features: Fancy suit
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Ethnicity: Wizbird
About Alc, The Cracker
Alc, The Cracker is a former translator and writer for SNAP. He specializes in the more ancient translations. Much of his assistance can be found in SNAP’s L4D2 Bible: The Ultimate Left 4 Dead 2 Guide.
Like Master Gino, Alc was part of the original Snap alliance, though his work did not appear publicly until the publication of the L4D2 ultimate guide.
Background
Alc was part of the founding trio for the Snapian Network. After drinking Cornelius' intelligence enhancing urinal serum, he escaped with Snap and Gino to form a business together.
Alc, like Gino, was responsible for creating new serums and strategizing ways to outplay Cornelius’ business. He was as respected as Gino until, at some point, he made a comment on Dr. Snap’s voice being “like that of an aqueduct filled with hookers on drugs". Snap punished Alc with a beating and his hearing impaired. Alc recounts his current hearing as “everything being like what [he] described of Snap’s voice”.
Once responsible for putting Gino’s ideas to paper, Alc stepped down from translations due to his impairments. He still remains a writer for Snapian Network.
Personality
Alc is described as being “uppity”. He has little interest in learning anything new or expanding the world beyond what the Snapian Network provides him with. He often complains about being cooped up inside with ‘the other geeks’ but does nothing to fix it.
He has an unhealthy contempt for the modern world, and finds joy only in modern people suffering. His favorite pastime is taking pictures of modern suffering and send them to those who do not have any photos of modern people suffering. He likes to watch television (but only those 24/7 fire pit channels) while downing more soda than is probably healthy.
Quotes
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(In regards to modern games) “It seems we’ve entered the age where zoomers would rather look at a candy in all its allure than to actually savor it.”
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“What Gino does not understand about our cause, is that we’re here to make a mess, not a message.”
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“Cornelius, with all his wisdom, though I would say apparently he lacks thereof, proclaims himself to be an Ultrawizard. He asserts this claim, when he himself doesn't even possess a license that would prove such a thing! All he’ll ever achieve, IF his plans don’t include the death of every human being, is to turn the realities into his own personal playgrounds. His elimination is, by all means, desirable.”