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A gallimaufry of the greatest content in all of the cosmos.
"You want to know who I am? Heh, that's cute. I want to know who I am as well. As a matter of fact, I want to know who all of us are. Who in the world knows the truth of why we're all here? But that's neither here nor there.
The real question is, are you prepared to face the danger? The wrath of a million suns? The end of your own kind? Are you ready to endure this hell? To face the pain of your inevitable doom? Because that is what you are going to experience here. We're all put on this planet, forced to shit, born to wipe, and then you die. Some will pass on sooner than others; but on this site, you can do that right now.
I am Dr. Snap, the Wizard. I am here to deliver unto you the greatest gift of all: The pain."
Dr. Snap is always working "hard" to bring you the best of the best. Come back soon to see what other goodies we have cooked up in the cauldron!
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Position: Godwizard
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Nationality: Snapian
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Languages: English (text only)
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Hair Color: Multiple
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Eye Color: Purple, probably
Height: 9’0 -
Build: Clothes too big to tell
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Features: Very long hair
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Ethnicity: Wizard
About Dr. Snap, The Wizard
Dr. Snap (also known as simply “SNAP”, typically stylized in upper-case) is the lead character in the Snapian Universe. It is difficult to describe him, as he is often attributed as either a godlike being or merely a wizard with a knack for technology.
Background
Not much is known about Dr. Snap. Contrary to popular belief, he is not related to the "SNAP'' event that occured between The Creator and Cornelius. He was born earlier under the purple sun of Jesse and Cornelius, following a massive war between the two rival Ultrawizards who were quarreling over a plot of land consisting of nothing but rice fields.
According to ancient Snaptronaut theorists, Snap (as well as his colleagues, Alc and Gino) stole and consumed a superfluous amount of Cornelius intelligence enhancing urinal serum. Snap drank the most, which gave him godlike intelligence and powers that came at a price. With such intelligence came constant episodes of ranting about insignificant things and lethal obsession with minor details.
Snap, as well as his colleagues, founded the Snap alliance, which aimed to be a competitor in the market of intelligence enhancing serums. After Cornelius’ demise, the team renamed themselves to Snapian Network and aimed to create “the greatest content in all of the cosmos”. Snap remained as the leader of the network, but what exactly he does remains unclear.
Personality
Little is known about Dr. Snap’s personality. Some say he complains too much, others say he is not serious enough, others say he is all talk and no action. He’ll appear to be serious at first, but wait a few minutes and he’ll get to joking. He’ll say he can’t walk and that he needs to be carried everywhere, but he’ll find a way to get around on his own. He’ll make jokes about being married, but then he’ll say he hasn’t spoken to anyone for nearly 60 years. He’ll talk about the great things he did for the military, but he’ll also talk about how he was dishonorably discharged. He’ll brag about how he’s an expert on games, but only plays one game.
One thing is for certain: Dr. Snap is a mysterious, and consequently, versatile being. If you have a concept like him, you need not worry about keeping track of many other characters. He can be anything you want him to be… wink wink.
Quotes
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Dr. Snap’s word can only be found in writing, as his voice has been described as too powerful for the human ear.
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“I am Dr. Snap, the Wizard. I am here to deliver unto you the greatest gift of all: The pain.”
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“It says a lot about a chicken if it can operate without its head on straight.” (SNAP’s L4D2 Bible - in reference to Mike the Headless Chicken)
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“Fear not the man that has played every map, fear the map that has played every man.” (SNAP’s L4D2 Bible)
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(In regards to Payday 2) “The difficulties are fundamentally flawed in the sense that they don’t truly test the skill of the players. They instead seek to test the skill of the designers and programmers, and it’s becoming apparent to us that they are the ones losing the game.”
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(In regards to Payday 2) “Is it any wonder the game degenerated with time? Look who the audience is.”
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(In regards to online gaming) “When victory needs to be earned, the disconnect button is only a click away.”
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“This man cannot climb the fence. He is surely lost, not because he is a fool, but because he is part of the internal revenue service.” (SNAP’s L4D2 Bible)
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“Therefore I say unto thee, the AK47 with laser sights is the greatest weapon in the game of life.”
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“It was the most pitiful and unfortunate thing. And on that day, SNAP named him the ‘rage quitter’.” (SNAP’s L4D2 Bible)
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“A man sets his house in order. His house is like dominoes. Unfortunately it is also fragile as such.” (SNAP’s L4D2 Bible)
Trivia
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Dr. Snap's favorite color is purple.
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WizArt typically depicts him in various forms.
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There is controversy amongst the ancient Snapian theorists on where Dr. Snap got his name. Some say he got it because of an apt ability to "snap" his aim in video games, though some have argued that it's just a name he was born with.
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He is the only creature capable of converting snap packs to flat-pack candy bars
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Snap is the creator of the legendary PD2: Beyond the Wall series.
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Snap is also the creator of the legendary Payday 2 mod, Mayhem: Aegis.
