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Eine Mischmasch aus dem besten Inhalt im gesamten Kosmos.
"Du willst wissen, wer ich bin? Heh, das ist süß. Ich möchte auch wissen, wer ich bin. Tatsächlich möchte ich wissen, wer wir alle sind. Wer auf der Welt kennt die Wahrheit, warum wir alle hier sind? Aber das ist weder hier noch dort.
Die eigentliche Frage ist, bist du bereit, der Gefahr zu begegnen? Der Zorn von einer Million Sonnen? Das Ende deiner eigenen Art? Bist du bereit, diese Hölle zu ertragen? Dem Schmerz deines unvermeidlichen Untergangs ins Gesicht zu sehen? Denn das ist es, was du hier erleben wirst. Wir alle werden auf diesen Planeten gesetzt, gezwungen zu scheißen, geboren zum Abwischen, und dann stirbst du. Einige werden früher als andere gehen; aber auf dieser Seite kannst du das jetzt tun.
Ich bin Dr. Snap, der Zauberer. Ich bin hier, um dir das größte aller Geschenke zu überbringen: Der Schmerz."
Dr. Snap arbeitet immer “hart”, um Ihnen das Beste vom Besten zu bringen. Kommen Sie bald wieder, um zu sehen, welche anderen Leckereien wir im Kessel gekocht haben!
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Position: Translator (formerly), writer
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Nationality: Snapian
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Languages: English
Hair Color: Worrying Red -
Eye Color: Eyes like that of a bird
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Height: 6’5
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Wingspan: 7’6
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Build: Pompous
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Features: Fancy suit
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Ethnicity: Wizbird
About Alc, The Cracker
Alc, The Cracker is a former translator and writer for SNAP. He specializes in the more ancient translations. Much of his assistance can be found in SNAP’s L4D2 Bible: The Ultimate Left 4 Dead 2 Guide.
Like Master Gino, Alc was part of the original Snap alliance, though his work did not appear publicly until the publication of the L4D2 ultimate guide.
Background
Alc was part of the founding trio for the Snapian Network. After drinking Cornelius' intelligence enhancing urinal serum, he escaped with Snap and Gino to form a business together.
Alc, like Gino, was responsible for creating new serums and strategizing ways to outplay Cornelius’ business. He was as respected as Gino until, at some point, he made a comment on Dr. Snap’s voice being “like that of an aqueduct filled with hookers on drugs". Snap punished Alc with a beating and his hearing impaired. Alc recounts his current hearing as “everything being like what [he] described of Snap’s voice”.
Once responsible for putting Gino’s ideas to paper, Alc stepped down from translations due to his impairments. He still remains a writer for Snapian Network.
Personality
Alc is described as being “uppity”. He has little interest in learning anything new or expanding the world beyond what the Snapian Network provides him with. He often complains about being cooped up inside with ‘the other geeks’ but does nothing to fix it.
He has an unhealthy contempt for the modern world, and finds joy only in modern people suffering. His favorite pastime is taking pictures of modern suffering and send them to those who do not have any photos of modern people suffering. He likes to watch television (but only those 24/7 fire pit channels) while downing more soda than is probably healthy.
Quotes
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(In regards to modern games) “It seems we’ve entered the age where zoomers would rather look at a candy in all its allure than to actually savor it.”
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“What Gino does not understand about our cause, is that we’re here to make a mess, not a message.”
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“Cornelius, with all his wisdom, though I would say apparently he lacks thereof, proclaims himself to be an Ultrawizard. He asserts this claim, when he himself doesn't even possess a license that would prove such a thing! All he’ll ever achieve, IF his plans don’t include the death of every human being, is to turn the realities into his own personal playgrounds. His elimination is, by all means, desirable.”
