Snap’s Kessel

According to ancient Snaptronaut theorists, Ultrawizard Cornelius and Ultrawizard Jesse fought over a plot of land consisting of nothing but rice fields. Cornelius got sick of fighting Jesse, so he forged a tax evasion case against him. Cornelius was contracted by the IRS to make a multi-dimensional bridge so they could hunt Jesse down. The battle concluded with Jesse's demise.

 

Acquisition of the rice fields did not come without difficulty either. It was soon revealed an elf gang was wreaking havoc on the rice fields by conducting experimental magic on the crops. Ultrawizard Cornelius unleashed an unholy wrath against the elves, though he later found out it was nearing Christmas time and the elves were only trying to turn the crops into gifts to supply Ultrawizard Santa.

 

Santa soon found out, and was furious with Cornelius. He demanded Cornelius return the Northern-Polian elven society back to natural order. Cornelius could not adhere to Santa's wishes, citing his expertise in the realm of chaos to be the main culprit for his course of action. Santa reached into his sack and tossed a urinal at Cornelius, swearing that his name be permanently etched into his naughty list, before flying to the South Pole. It is believed, in his fit of rage, Santa forgot to bring the elves with him, as ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe.

 

After recovering from the assault, Cornelius got up and observed he had been knocked unconscious by a urinal. He began laughing like a madman on crack. The abandoned elves observed the maniacal fool confused, as he cackled like a loon. What they didn't know was that he was emitting a laughing gas type magic that consequently had them laughing like hyenas too. Cornelius rounded up the remaining elves left by Santa, and ordered them to completely burn the rice field into ashes. They abided by his wishes, and he promised them unlimited food and clothing in exchange for their loyalty, as ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe.

 

Cornelius' laughing magic, mixed with the chemicals of the urinal as well as the burning rice, created what seemed to be a kind of intelligence enhancing serum which attracted wrong-loser-wizards from across the galaxies. Cornelius' business boomed as wizards lined up to boost their intelligence. Three audacious wizards, Snap, Gino, and Alc, stole an overzealous amount of the serum and became wicked smart. Smart enough to outrun Cornelius' wrath. The newly applied intelligence allowed them to achieve higher level careers, consequently earning the titles Doctor, Master, and Cracker respectively.

 

The trio went on to create the “Snap alliance” (which later referred to themselves as the Snapian Network). It became a heavy competitor to Cornelius' urinal magic business. Eventually, the Snap alliance overtook Cornelius, as his enterprise collapsed by unknown causes. Ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe Santa had returned for revenge, and annihilated his company. Others believe it was because of the pseudo-"snap" between the Creator and Cornelius which sent him into the void. Some believe it was either a mix of both, OR the Snap alliance sabotaged their work.