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Eine Mischmasch aus dem besten Inhalt im gesamten Kosmos.
"Du willst wissen, wer ich bin? Heh, das ist süß. Ich möchte auch wissen, wer ich bin. Tatsächlich möchte ich wissen, wer wir alle sind. Wer auf der Welt kennt die Wahrheit, warum wir alle hier sind? Aber das ist weder hier noch dort.
Die eigentliche Frage ist, bist du bereit, der Gefahr zu begegnen? Der Zorn von einer Million Sonnen? Das Ende deiner eigenen Art? Bist du bereit, diese Hölle zu ertragen? Dem Schmerz deines unvermeidlichen Untergangs ins Gesicht zu sehen? Denn das ist es, was du hier erleben wirst. Wir alle werden auf diesen Planeten gesetzt, gezwungen zu scheißen, geboren zum Abwischen, und dann stirbst du. Einige werden früher als andere gehen; aber auf dieser Seite kannst du das jetzt tun.
Ich bin Dr. Snap, der Zauberer. Ich bin hier, um dir das größte aller Geschenke zu überbringen: Der Schmerz."
Dr. Snap arbeitet immer “hart”, um Ihnen das Beste vom Besten zu bringen. Kommen Sie bald wieder, um zu sehen, welche anderen Leckereien wir im Kessel gekocht haben!
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Position: None
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Nationality: North Pole
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Languages: Christmas
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Hair Color: Yes
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Eye Color: Brighter than Medlock's future
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Height: North Pole
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Build: Not cut out for snow
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Features: The elves have pointy ears trope
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Ethnicity: Northern-Polian
About Northern-Polian Elves
The Northern-Polian Elves are servants of Ultrawizard Santa. They became temporary slaves to Ultrawizard Cornelius after Santa abandoned them at a rice field. After Cornelius’ death, the elves freed themselves. Their current whereabouts are unknown. Ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe they are now mythological rarities.
History
Ancient Snaptronaut theorists trace the existence of the Northern-Polian Elves all the way back to the remains of a small village on a peninsula. Behind this peninsula was a vast snowy jungle of rice trees. It is believed the jungle was a constant source of misery for the elves due to the unending cold, as well as the wrong-losers that lurked in the snowy grass. They were soon discovered by Santa (a lesser wizard at the time), who offered them protection, as well as a new home - a mansion.
For his constant acts of goodwill, Santa was promoted to Ultrawizard status. He handed off his promotional blessing to the elves, granting them an ability to turn rice crops into gifts.
Santa had to sustain his Ultrawizard prestige, so he tasked himself with mass-producing gifts and donating them across the lands once per year. Out of gratitude, the elves created the impossibly large factory that would help Santa accomplish this goal.
After many centuries, the rice forest was eventually depleted. The elves searched elsewhere for rice to turn into gifts, eventually stumbling upon UltraWizard Cornelius’ recently purchased plot of rice fields. UltraWizard Cornelius believed the elves were part of a wrong-loser gang, and punished them. He unleashed an unholy wrath.
What remains of the Northern-Polian Elves remains a mystery. Some ancient Snaptronaut theorists argue they went extinct due to lack of survival skills.
