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En gallimaufry av det største innholdet i hele kosmos.
"Du vil vite hvem jeg er? Heh, det er søtt. Jeg vil også vite hvem jeg er. Faktisk vil jeg vite hvem vi alle er. Hvem i verden vet sannheten om hvorfor vi alle er her? Men det er verken her eller der.
Det virkelige spørsmålet er, er du forberedt på å møte faren? Vreden av en million soler? Slutten på din egen art? Er du klar til å tåle dette helvete? Å møte smerten av din uunngåelige undergang? Fordi det er det du kommer til å oppleve her. Vi er alle satt på denne planeten, tvunget til å drite, født til å tørke, og så dør du. Noen vil passere tidligere enn andre; men på dette nettstedet kan du gjøre det akkurat nå.
Jeg er Dr. Snap, trollmannen. Jeg er her for å levere deg den største gaven av alle: Smerten."
Dr. Snap jobber alltid “hardt” for å bringe deg det beste av det beste. Kom tilbake snart for å se hvilke andre godbiter vi har kokt opp i gryten!
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Position: Translator (formerly), writer
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Nationality: Snapian
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Languages: English
Hair Color: Worrying Red -
Eye Color: Eyes like that of a bird
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Height: 6’5
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Wingspan: 7’6
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Build: Pompous
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Features: Fancy suit
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Ethnicity: Wizbird
About Alc, The Cracker
Alc, The Cracker is a former translator and writer for SNAP. He specializes in the more ancient translations. Much of his assistance can be found in SNAP’s L4D2 Bible: The Ultimate Left 4 Dead 2 Guide.
Like Master Gino, Alc was part of the original Snap alliance, though his work did not appear publicly until the publication of the L4D2 ultimate guide.
Background
Alc was part of the founding trio for the Snapian Network. After drinking Cornelius' intelligence enhancing urinal serum, he escaped with Snap and Gino to form a business together.
Alc, like Gino, was responsible for creating new serums and strategizing ways to outplay Cornelius’ business. He was as respected as Gino until, at some point, he made a comment on Dr. Snap’s voice being “like that of an aqueduct filled with hookers on drugs". Snap punished Alc with a beating and his hearing impaired. Alc recounts his current hearing as “everything being like what [he] described of Snap’s voice”.
Once responsible for putting Gino’s ideas to paper, Alc stepped down from translations due to his impairments. He still remains a writer for Snapian Network.
Personality
Alc is described as being “uppity”. He has little interest in learning anything new or expanding the world beyond what the Snapian Network provides him with. He often complains about being cooped up inside with ‘the other geeks’ but does nothing to fix it.
He has an unhealthy contempt for the modern world, and finds joy only in modern people suffering. His favorite pastime is taking pictures of modern suffering and send them to those who do not have any photos of modern people suffering. He likes to watch television (but only those 24/7 fire pit channels) while downing more soda than is probably healthy.
Quotes
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(In regards to modern games) “It seems we’ve entered the age where zoomers would rather look at a candy in all its allure than to actually savor it.”
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“What Gino does not understand about our cause, is that we’re here to make a mess, not a message.”
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“Cornelius, with all his wisdom, though I would say apparently he lacks thereof, proclaims himself to be an Ultrawizard. He asserts this claim, when he himself doesn't even possess a license that would prove such a thing! All he’ll ever achieve, IF his plans don’t include the death of every human being, is to turn the realities into his own personal playgrounds. His elimination is, by all means, desirable.”
