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En gallimaufry av det bästa innehållet i hela kosmos.
"Vill du veta vem jag är? Heh, det är gulligt. Jag vill också veta vem jag är. Faktum är att jag vill veta vem vi alla är. Vem i världen vet sanningen om varför vi alla är här? Men det är varken här eller där.
Den riktiga frågan är, är du beredd att möta faran? Vreden av en miljon solar? Slutet på din egen sort? Är du redo att uthärda detta helvete? Att möta smärtan av din oundvikliga undergång? För det är vad du kommer att uppleva här. Vi är alla satta på denna planet, tvingade att skita, födda att torka, och sedan dör du. Vissa kommer att passera tidigare än andra; men på denna webbplats kan du göra det just nu.
Jag är Dr. Snap, trollkarlen. Jag är här för att leverera till dig den största gåvan av alla: Smärtan."
Dr. Snap arbetar alltid “hårt” för att ge dig det bästa av det bästa. Kom tillbaka snart för att se vilka andra godsaker vi har lagat i kitteln!
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Position: Translator (formerly), writer
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Nationality: Snapian
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Languages: English
Hair Color: Worrying Red -
Eye Color: Eyes like that of a bird
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Height: 6’5
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Wingspan: 7’6
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Build: Pompous
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Features: Fancy suit
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Ethnicity: Wizbird
About Alc, The Cracker
Alc, The Cracker is a former translator and writer for SNAP. He specializes in the more ancient translations. Much of his assistance can be found in SNAP’s L4D2 Bible: The Ultimate Left 4 Dead 2 Guide.
Like Master Gino, Alc was part of the original Snap alliance, though his work did not appear publicly until the publication of the L4D2 ultimate guide.
Background
Alc was part of the founding trio for the Snapian Network. After drinking Cornelius' intelligence enhancing urinal serum, he escaped with Snap and Gino to form a business together.
Alc, like Gino, was responsible for creating new serums and strategizing ways to outplay Cornelius’ business. He was as respected as Gino until, at some point, he made a comment on Dr. Snap’s voice being “like that of an aqueduct filled with hookers on drugs". Snap punished Alc with a beating and his hearing impaired. Alc recounts his current hearing as “everything being like what [he] described of Snap’s voice”.
Once responsible for putting Gino’s ideas to paper, Alc stepped down from translations due to his impairments. He still remains a writer for Snapian Network.
Personality
Alc is described as being “uppity”. He has little interest in learning anything new or expanding the world beyond what the Snapian Network provides him with. He often complains about being cooped up inside with ‘the other geeks’ but does nothing to fix it.
He has an unhealthy contempt for the modern world, and finds joy only in modern people suffering. His favorite pastime is taking pictures of modern suffering and send them to those who do not have any photos of modern people suffering. He likes to watch television (but only those 24/7 fire pit channels) while downing more soda than is probably healthy.
Quotes
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(In regards to modern games) “It seems we’ve entered the age where zoomers would rather look at a candy in all its allure than to actually savor it.”
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“What Gino does not understand about our cause, is that we’re here to make a mess, not a message.”
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“Cornelius, with all his wisdom, though I would say apparently he lacks thereof, proclaims himself to be an Ultrawizard. He asserts this claim, when he himself doesn't even possess a license that would prove such a thing! All he’ll ever achieve, IF his plans don’t include the death of every human being, is to turn the realities into his own personal playgrounds. His elimination is, by all means, desirable.”
