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A gallimaufry of the greatest content in all of the cosmos.
"You want to know who I am? Heh, that's cute. I want to know who I am as well. As a matter of fact, I want to know who all of us are. Who in the world knows the truth of why we're all here? But that's neither here nor there.
The real question is, are you prepared to face the danger? The wrath of a million suns? The end of your own kind? Are you ready to endure this hell? To face the pain of your inevitable doom? Because that is what you are going to experience here. We're all put on this planet, forced to shit, born to wipe, and then you die. Some will pass on sooner than others; but on this site, you can do that right now.
I am Dr. Snap, the Wizard. I am here to deliver unto you the greatest gift of all: The pain."
Dr. Snap is always working "hard" to bring you the best of the best. Come back soon to see what other goodies we have cooked up in the cauldron!
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Position: Giftgiver (former?)
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Nationality: North-Polian
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Languages: English
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Hair Color: White as snow
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Eye Color: Whatever he ate for dinner last night
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Height: Horizontally robust
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Build: Ho Ho Ho
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Features: A large sack
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Ethnicity: Wizard
About Ultrawizard Santa
Ultrawizard Santa (known commonly as Santa Claus) was the leader of a gift-giving enterprise located in the North Pole.
Background
Personality
Little is known about Santa’s early history. However, ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe his constant acts of goodwill is what promoted him to Ultrawizard status. Because Santa had to sustain his Ultrawizard prestige, he tasked himself with mass-producing gifts and donating them across the lands once per year.
Prior to his ultrawizard status, Santa might’ve been an explorer. He found the distraught North-Polian elves on a destitute peninsula and relocated them to a safer domain. Out of gratitude, the elves created a large factory that would help him accomplish his goal of mass gift production and conveyance. Santa granted the elves an ability to turn rice crops into gifts.
Ancient Snaptronaut theorists believe Santa was benevolent, generous, and kind. However, in his later years, Santa grew more withdrawn, as insinuated according to drawings he’d make feauturing himself much more brawny as he fights peculiar unidentifiable creatures. It is argued he might’ve started developing schizophrenia.
One diary written by a Northern-Polian elf hints twice at Santa abusing WizNog (an illegal pseudo-medicinal substance based off Cornelius’ intelligence enhancing urinal serum), though both entries are omitted mid-sentence.
